Darn You iTunes!!!

For making buying music so easy and convenient! For adding new music to my library with just a click of a mouse! For exposing me to new music based on my personal preferences! You're killing my bank account!

Sooo, I'm ashamed to say that I bought not one, but two complete albums, a total of 26 songs. Now that may not seem like a whole lot, but for me, whose student loan payments are piling on as we speak, it's money that could have been used more wisely. Maybe I should take my own advice about wasteful spending, hehe ;) Oh well, I'll work on it.

So the artist who has recently benefited from my hard-earned money is...drum roll please...James Morrison! Have ya heard him? I think I likes him :) He's British, so he has an accent (I love accents), but you can't really tell when he sings. He has an amazing soulful, sometimes raspy voice. One thing you should know about me is that I absolutely love soulful voices and music, just plain raw talent, without all the technical recording tricks. Sometimes I wish I could travel back to the '50's, '60's, and '70's just so I could hear genuinely good music in person. This crap that they make nowadays just does not compare. Well. I think I just sounded like my mother. Anyway...back to this James Morrison fellow...I like his voice, I like his style, and I think he's original. You should click one of the links below and listen for a bit. Maybe you've heard some his songs. I still can't believe that I hadn't. Holla!

Out with the Old, In with the New...yeah, I know it's cliche

Today I read an article entitled, "Americans seek silver lining in 2010." According to a poll, nearly three-fourths of Americans think 2009 was a bad year for the country. Forty-two percent rated it very bad :(  For the country as a whole, yes, 2009 may have been a bad year, at least in comparison to previous years. The job market sucked, homes got foreclosed, the economy was a little under the weather, etc, etc. Some Americans are justified in viewing 2009 as a bad year. But others...umm...I'm sorry you can't afford to buy anymore useless expensive crap that you don't need and that you plan to trade in for a bigger piece of useless expensive crap within the next year. I think 2009 gave a lot of people a wake up call about how they were spending their money and forced them reevaluate their priorities. Now I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with having expensive, sometimes completely unnecessary things that you want...as long as you can afford it (personally, I think there are quite a few ways that money could be put to better use, but that all depends on one's personal values and outlook). Being able to charge it does not necessarily mean that you can afford it, and I think a lot of people, including me, came to that realization this year. 

For me, I would say that the year went pretty well.  Like every year, there were things that made my life more complicated, things that made my life more interesting, things that basically had me on my knees thanking God that he allowed me to experience them, and things that had me questioning God and wondering if he even slightly cared about me. I've been stretched, squeezed, emptied, filled, and molded so many times this year and although it never felt good during those times, I know I came out stronger, wiser, and better prepared. Here is a little recap of my 2009, the good and the bad:

Bads: 

- Family issues flared up (can't go into details); felt (and feel) completely useless in helping the situation

- Failed to help bring other minorities into my campus ministry; convinced myself that it wasn't my responsibility

- Got my wisdom teeth removed (actually wasn't that bad)

- Took the long, dreadful, 8-hour FE (Fundamentals of Engineering Exam)

- Countless other personal disappointments that I won't mention; I can't put all my bizness out there for everyone to see!

Goods (happy time!):  

- Broke away from an unhealthy friendship; felt what it's like to be completely free 

- Finally let my guard down, got to know a few people better, and let them see some of the real me

- Got to see the pride in my parents' faces as I walked across the stage to become the first person in our family to get a bachelor's degree!

- Successfully passed the long, dreadful, 8-hour FE!

- Got invited to be a Peace Corps volunteer in Jamaica!!!

As you can probably guess, I am ecstatic about the year 2010! Only 11 more weeks to go and I'll be boarding that plane to Miami to start a new adventure and see what this development thing is all about. I'll finally be able to begin something that I've felt obligated to do for over a year now. That's so crazy to me...it was the end of 2008 when I decided to completely switch gears on my life plan and throw myself into an extremely unpredictable situation. Who's knows what's gonna happen while I'm in Jamaica? I don't, but I'm taking a chance and I'm ready to go. Today is the start of a good year...

The Sounds of Jamaica

Does anybody else ever log on to iTunes with the intentions of just checking out some new music, maybe buying 2 or 3 songs and then proceed to purchase about $30 worth instead!?! Well that's what I did last night. It all started when I was looking up some suggested Jamaican artists on Youtube...that took a while (some of the lyrics are...umm...a bit mature, and the dancing - OMG!). Then I started looking up old r&b favorites from the '90s and somewhat recent stuff that I just hadn't heard in a while. I mean I just laid in my bed and literally listened to the whole Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor album (the first and best one in my opinion) on Youtube. And of course I just had to have this music on my ipod so I could listen to it to and from work. So I bought them. Music is so therapeutic for me; it's like I get into a zone and I just listen for hours and hours. And that's what I did...until around 3 o'clock in the morning, knowing full well that I had to be at work at 8. I'm not a college student anymore...I have go to do better...

Anyway, here are a few of my Reggae favorites so far...hope you enjoy :)

SEC Champs!!! And Other Stuff...

I would like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to the men of the Crimson Tide football team..woohoo! I am so proud to be a University of Alabama graduate right now! They played a great game and really shocked a lot of people (including me). Good game Tebow, you are a fantastic player and leader (and cute too), but...

ROLL TIDE ROLL baby! Next up, National Championship!

I'm trying to think of any updates I may have that's actually related to my Peace Corps experience so far. Let's see, after I sent in an official letter from my dentist stating that my wisdom teeth were removed, I was dentally cleared...yay. I bought a backpack, a swiss army knife, and ordered luggage. Yep, I'm slowly putting a small dent in my packing list. And thanks to a fellow volunteer currently serving in Jamaica, I found out about a few more discounts (thanks Josh! Here's his very useful discount info: http://joshnjesse.wordpress.com/to-pack/).

I also had some interesting discussions with one of my coworkers on Friday. One was about our cultural experiences growing up. I told her about how I had very little interaction with white people when I was younger. No white people live in my neighborhood, no white kids went to my school. There were a few white teachers, but that's it. Then, when I went to the University of Alabama (where you can't throw a rock without hitting a white person) it was basically a culture shock. I'm naturally a shy person anyway, so being thrown in with thousands of people I didn't know and didn't really feel comfortable with was pretty tough. But I had to adjust if I wanted to get through; they weren't going away and I wasn't leaving. It was a good learning experience. Well my coworker's experience was the opposite. She's black too, around my parents' age and originally lived up north (I forgot exactly where). For her up north, everything was integrated; it was the norm to go to school or live around other races. When her family moved down south, however, she was sent to a school with only black kids. That was a culture shock for her, especially when she would get teased for "acting" or "talking white." Anyways, we basically concluded that segregation=bad; integration=good! In general, anytime you isolate yourself to one corner of the world and surround yourself with only one "type" of people your whole life, you greatly limit your global outlook. You'll find it hard to identify or relate to people who aren't like you, you won't be able to look at situations from a different point of view, and you'll let stereotypes dictate how you view and treat people. The prevention of these occurrences in my own life is one reason why I joined the Peace Corps :)

The second discussion was basically about stepping out in faith. I was telling her about other volunteer experiences and how I may not have constant running water and electricity, no washer and dryer, etc, etc. And she basically said that she respected me for choosing to do Peace Corps, but she didn't think she would ever have the nerve to do it. I asked her why, and she said she would be too scared...scared of not being able to handle the conditions, scared of being hurt or killed, etc. And I'm thinking, "Uh, here I am, this somewhat sheltered girl from what has to be one of the smallest towns in America who's never been to another country, never even been on a plane, and you don't think I'm scared?" So, then, I basically told her that I didn't feel that we should allow fear to decide what we do in life. And that, if you're a believer in God, you know he is sovereign, and you have faith that he'll sustain you through anything, then there really isn't a reason to be scared. A few people I know who've been on mission trips have said that it seems like the faith of Christians in developing countries are so much stronger than that of Christians here in the U.S.  I think one reason is because we tend to put our faith in any and every thing besides God, whether it be our jobs, our education, wealth, etc. We tend to become so fulfilled and dependent on these things, and we don't leave any room for God to really work in our lives. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "my power is made perfect in weakness." I believe that by taking this leap of faith to join the Peace Corps and allowing myself to be "weak", I am making room for God to work through me and use me as a vessel for his purposes. And I have faith that he will sustain me and strengthen me in my times of weakness, so there's no reason to fear. My coworker agreed and I can tell that she's become more open to the idea since the first time I told her about it, so maybe I can convince her to do Peace Corps one day...we'll see.

Why can't you stay in the US and volunteer??? People here need help too!

I've been asked this question a couple of times. And they're right...I can stay here and volunteer. I've done so in the past. And I will do so in the future...just as soon as I get done using your taxpayer money to pay for my 2 year vacation...just kidding :)

But seriously though, I get a bit irritated at this question/comment because, first, it's usually asked by someone who has no volunteer experience at all, domestic or foreign, and therefore has no room to question what I do. And the second reason why this irritates me is because I feel that it's a symptom of that mental disease that's way to common, that desire to isolate ourselves and refusal to view the rest of the world as fellow human beings who desire to be healthy and happy just like us. Even those who actually care about people suffering in other countries sometimes fail to realize that simply sending money is not gonna solve the problem. The problems are deeper than that and way too complicated for the hands-off approach to work. I could go on and on about issues with the "aid" that's given to developing countries, but one of the main reasons I chose to do Peace Corps is because I really wasn't ready to fall into a routine...that daily grind of making bills, going to work to pay off those bills, and trying to enjoy life in between. I wanted to be removed from my comfort zones and everything I've always known and push myself to adjust to, live in, learn from, and love a completely different group of people with a completely different culture. And I also feel like I may be interested in a career in international development, so let's hope that my 2 years in Jamaica go well! If not, I'll come back and figure out how can best serve people here. Either way, any decision I make will be guided by God and in the end, His blessing is the only approval that I need :)

In other news...

I'm ready to share my packing/shopping/wish list! As in I WISH that I could pay for half the stuff I need to buy before I leave. I've been internet shopping for the past couple of days...I don't do the Black Friday thing...didn't feel like being trampled and crushed under a crowd of people running to get the last Nintendo Wii. I managed to find a lot of deals online including a PCV discount with Teva. This list will undoubtedly be modified/reduced before I leave but here is what I'm hoping to bring:

- 3 dresses                                        - netbook and speakers
- 3 skirts                                           - high capacity jump drive
- 5 blouses                                       - digital camera
- 5 casual shirts                                - surge protector
- 5 pairs of dress pants                     - ipod & docking station
- 4 pairs of jeans                              - shortwave radio
- 4 pairs of shorts/capris                   - batteries
- (?) t-shirts                                      - games (dominoes, cards, etc.)
- 2 bathing suits                                 - many books
- 1 light sweater/jacket                       - coloring books and crayons
- 1 pair of closed toed dress shoes      - pens and pencils
- 1 pair of Teva water sandals             - world map
- 2 pairs of flip flops                            - gifts for host family
- 2 pairs of Teva dressy sandals          - pictures from home
- 2 pairs of tennis shoes                       - sunglasses
- multiple underwears                          - water-resistant watch
- 4 bras/2 sports bras                          - umbrella
- 2 slips                                               - plastic water bottle
- socks                                                - 3-M wall hanging products
- pjs/sleeping clothes                           - roll of duct tape
- combs                                              - swiss army knife
- hair ties and clips                               - full size sheets
- flat iron                                             - envelopes and stamps
- shampoo and conditioner                   - flashlight
- hair moisturizer                                  - large rolling duffel bag
- small mirror                                       - smaller duffel
- nail clippers/nail file                            - backpack
- pack of razors                                   - small messenger bag
- eyeglasses
- contact lenses
- contact lens solution
- feminine hygiene products
- 2 towels/2 washcloths
- soap
- lotion
- toothbrush and toothpaste
- deodorant

Now I realize that this list looks very long, but a lot of the items are small, so I should be able to pack everything, right? If you have any suggestions or comments, please feel free to chime in.

Thanks for reading! See ya next time!

No More Wisdom!

Soooo, apparently some dental surgeon person took my wisdom teeth yesterday. And in their place, he left gaps that have been causing me quite a bit of discomfort in the last 24 hours.  And guess what? I actually paid him to do this! What was I thinking?

Ok, I admit it, I signed up to have my wisdom teeth removed because the Peace Corps said that I wouldn't be able to receive my plane ticket unless I did so.  So, yeah, I obeyed. I refused to let this stand in the way of me going to Jamaica!

You wanna hear about my whole surgical experience? I know you do! Even if you don't, I'm gonna tell it anyway...so here it goes. First, I woke up at about 8:30, took a shower, packed some clothes (since I'm staying with parents for the weekend), and took anti-bacterial infection medicine. Then, my dad picked me up from my apartment and we drove to the dentist office. My mom met us there. Not too long after I checked in, they called me back...to pay for the surgery. The total was around $1100, but my insurance paid for most of it, so I only had to pay $387, which is still a lot to me, but much better than $1100. So then I returned to the waiting room until they called me back again to get started.  I couldn't wear contacts or glasses during the surgery, so I was as blind as a bat as I followed the nurse to my room. Well, I could vaguely make out shapes and faces. The "recovery area" was right next to my room, so I could look out and see the other patients who'd just had their teeth removed. One girl was crying...I got nervous.

When I got to my room, I laid down in the operating chair and the nurse took my blood pressure, stuck 2 heart monitors on my chest, and set up the IV tube thingy in my right arm. Then, I waited. As I waited, I could hear more patients being transported to and from the recovery area; some were fine, others could barely walk. I could also hear a country music station playing in the background...not really my favorite genre, but was surprisingly relaxing yesterday. After about 45 minutes, the dentist came in and the usual pleasantries were exchanged. As he was talking to another nurse, he started to fumble around with my IV. I was under the impression that he would inform me before he drugged me up, but apparently that's not necessary. So sometime between that point and me waking up disoriented, they removed my teeth. I don't remember a thing.

After I woke up, a nurse assisted me to the recovery area where I laid back in a recliner until they felt I was "recovered" enough to walk to the car. I met my parents at the door in the pick-up area, they helped me get into the car, and we drove home. My routine, since coming home, has been the following:  remove bloody guaze from mouth, drink liquids, take meds, eat mashed potatoes, replace guaze, feel nauseous, go to sleep, wake up, and repeat. I'm feeling much better now though...the pain is subsiding and i'm eating more solid food. Ok, i'm starting to feel nauseous again, so it must be time for another nap. Thanks for reading this incredibly exciting post! There's many more to come...

Right after surgery...

Today, after many hours of recovery, with an ice pack on my face...

What? Whoa! Cool!

Hey all! My name is Benita and i'll be leaving for Jamaica on March 17, 2010 to serve as an ICT (Information and Communications Technology) Advisor for the Peace Corps. It's been a long time coming...here is a general timeline:


November 7, 2008:  Submitted Application


December 15, 2008:  Interview with Recruiter and nominated for SSA (Sub-saharan Africa) teaching secondary math, leaving August 2009


February 10, 2009:  Nomination changed to ICT Caribbean, leaving February 2010


April 2009: Medically, legally, and dentally cleared (contingent upon the removal of my wisdom teeth)


May - August 2009:  LONG, AGONIZING WAIT


August 28, 2009:  Finally received my big blue envelope for Jamaica!!! Oh happy day!


So now i'm waiting to leave the country, trying to prepare myself for this adventure, but having no idea how to carry this out. I'm having my wisdom teeth removed next Friday (as recommended by the Peace Corps). I've made about 3 to-do lists and 2 packing lists and so far I've submitted my passport and visa applications, my updated resume and aspiration statement, and bought a surge protector...I'm not one to move quickly. I'm sure i'll get everything done at the last minute like I always do...it's so much more exciting! I am very thankful though that I received my invitation 6 months in advance; apparently that's extremely rare.


I'll try to keep this blog updated, but since i'm not leaving for a few months, I probably won't have anything exciting to report. But if I do, I promise to publicize it to the world! I've never done a blog, and I really don't feel like i'm entertaining or witty enough to make this enjoyable. But since everyone is doing it, I thought I'd give it a try :)